Oui, Paris

I must say, I didn’t have the Paris experience that most people come back talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely glad I went and had the chance to indulge in the French culture, but three days there was MORE than enough.

We stayed right downtown in the hustle and bustle at the Paris France Hotel. They were very nice and it was centrally located. It was extremely old and, well, small.

The Notre Dame Cathedral is beautiful, not air conditioned and REQUIRES you to leave your passport with the old lady volunteers in exchange for your audio guide. Shawls are available at the mart down the street – because as of the day right before we were there in Summer 2017, shoulders must now be covered to enter. Also, buy in advance through Get Your Guide, and skip the hour wait in line.

I wake up salivating from dreaming about the crepes at Au P’tit Grec. It was worth taking the Metro 45 minutes out and getting lost on the way through the stone-street alleyways. This street food puts street food out of business. Must. Go. Back.

Hey! The Louvre is closed on Tuesdays. You’re welcome. Not to fret, everything looks the same inside and she is about 8.5 x 11 that you can go within 15 feet of. We walked in 15 minutes before it closed, went right to Mona, pushed our way through selfie sticks to get a look of her behind a foggy piece of plastic and walked out with 5 minutes to closing. Boom. Efficiency is my middle name.

Through the previously mentioned Get Your Guide, you can get a three-in-one pass and skip the lines at the Eiffel Tower, Louvre and Siene Cruise – which was so extremely worth it in dat summer heat.

Speaking of the tower…the guides all make fun of all the tourists because it was just a prop for the International Exposition, or World’s Fair of 1889, which was to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the French Revolution. The French wanted a monument to be built to celebrate the greatness of France. Alas, we just keep going back. And paying a pretty penny to see it in fact. If I have one word of advice it is: stairs. Take the stairs down, do not wait for the lift. You will be waiting a week to get back down.

Naturally I was le thirsty after the climb down, so grabbing a beer at an outdoor café with a tower view was in order.

The beggar and peddler game is strong around town. It was rather aggressive and irritating, they actual touch you, put a bracelet on you forcefully then scream at you telling you you now owe them money. Dislike. Be careful.

The River Siene is so peaceful and I encourage you to take a tour through it. You can even use it as a taxi service if you want. I fell asleep on the back of the boat at one point it was that smooth and quiet. I took a run along the river one morning and that made the trip worth it. Until I tried to get back to the hotel and almost got hit by two cars, a scooter and burned by someone smoking a cigarette al fresco on the 3-inch wide sidewalks they have all over Paris.

I tried to speak French when ordering food at restaurants and the locals were so rude to us it was not even worth the attempt to be respectful. Apparently they don’t like the money that tourism brings in.

I would for sure say go to Paris, at least once, and experience this for yourself. But next time I get the chance to go to France (hey, that rhymes!), it will be elsewhere.

Friendly reminder that the middle seat gets both armrests.

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