I’ve been to New York a few times now, but this U.S. Open (tennis) trip in particular led me to some new, interesting findings. If you want to be treated like a New Yorker, you’ve got to act like a New Yorker.
- It’s soda, not pop.
- ‘You white’ means you’re pretty.
- If you don’t have garbage on the street, your business is not doing well.
- Two slices means cheese only, don’t attempt to choose toppings. Also, if you want to embarrass yourself, ask for parmesan.
- They don’t sell crab rangoon in Chinatown.
- $320 goes pretty fast when trying to win a stuffed reggae banana from carnival game criminals at Coney Island.
- Lady liberty doesn’t like gum. Well at least she doesn’t like you chewing it while on her pedestal.
- Maria Sharapova is too old to play tennis.
- The metro God picks and chooses which lines to run and when – and you are not allowed to ask said God prior to your Airbnb departure that day if you will need an hour detour to get to your destination.
- Dark or light at McSorley’s. Don’t ask for a drink menu. Dark or light.